Venom could have been better by being worse

Venom was a movie that I had absolutely zero interest in seeing. Aside from a shockingly good cast there was no reason to expect anything from it. I rolled my eyes with everyone else at the trailer. Surely a mediocre shart that I didn’t need to see. But as the “mixed-to-negative” reactions started rolling in… Continue reading Venom could have been better by being worse

The Commuter; It’s No Borat, but’s it’s Very Nice!

The Commuter is the movie I hope and pray for when I commit 90 minutes to watching something I know for a fact isn’t going to be “good.” Last week I reviewed Proud Mary and spent a lot of time talking about how frustratingly dull it’s aesthetics were. To me, judging these films based on… Continue reading The Commuter; It’s No Borat, but’s it’s Very Nice!

King Arthur: Legend of the Bored

  How does this happen?  I love Guy Ritchie motion pictures, especially his scam/caper films like Snatch, Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels and RockNrolla.  But the fast cutting, fast talking, explain everything through flash backward and flash forward editing kills King Arthur. In this retelling, Arthur is orphaned in the films opening minutes as… Continue reading King Arthur: Legend of the Bored

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter is the Final Resident Evil movie I Will Ever Subject Myself To

I have never seen a Resident Evil movie before. I think years ago I saw maybe 20 minutes of the first one. So it was strange and exciting that the first film in the series I would be seeing was, supposedly, the last one. Surely there would be something interesting about dropping in on the… Continue reading Resident Evil: The Final Chapter is the Final Resident Evil movie I Will Ever Subject Myself To

XXX: Return of Xander Cage Is Candy

I remember the first time I watched XXX (2002) fondly. I was 8 years old when it first came out, a bit too young to see it in the theaters. I saw it sometime after on DVD in Joey Marx’s basement. I remember feeling like I was sneaking something. It’s rated PG-13, but it’s an… Continue reading XXX: Return of Xander Cage Is Candy